A few weeks ago, I finished a book called "Predictably Irrational" by Dr. Dan Ariely, a professor at Duke University (a former professor at the Sloan School of Management at MIT; my brother-in-law took a class from him and recommended this book). This is a book focusing on behavioral economics and how in certain situations, we (people in general) ignore traditional economic theory and act in ways that are irrational.
In normal-people talk, this book is about how people often act in ways that don't make a lot of sense, and we act this way consistently. It's a fascinating read and I highly recommend it.
I learned something interesting about myself while reading this book. That is, I always want to keep doors open in my life.
Some might say that it isn't a bad thing to have options in your life; and I agree that the presence of options in one's life isn't bad. In fact, it's most likely positive. However, trouble arises when you start to act in ways that aren't in your best interest in order to keep options open.
Sometimes this happens in school. It took me a while to decide on my major. I didn't want to pigeon hole myself into a certain area of study because I'm interested in many different topics. Because I had so many options, it kept me from actually making a decision until I had spent 5 semesters at school. (I have finally decided to study Business Strategy; a major that I absolutely love). Simply because I didn't want to close any doors on any majors, it kept me from actually choosing a major.
Sometimes it happens in relationships. I consider myself to be a pretty easy-going guy who doesn't have too many enemies. This can create problems in the aftermath of relationships. Because I try hard not to offend anyone, I often try to keep in touch with ex-girlfriends because I always (in the back of my mind) think there might be an option there. Because of this, I probably spend too much time trying to keep my options open rather than just closing the door on these past relationships and fully invest myself into new relationships.
I also think this is one of the big reasons I'm hesitant for marriage. It is definitely a closing of doors to all other possible relationships. I can't help but wonder how many people have put off marriage (myself included) simply because they think they might find someone better than the person they are already dating. Even though you have no idea what other options are out there, you don't commit yourself fully to the person you're with because you can't bear the thought of losing all your other options. And by the same token, you don't break up with the person because they might be one. Thus because you want to keep all your doors open, you never actually make a decision.
It's a rather interesting conundrum. I want to retain my ability to choose, but in order to ensure I can choose any of all possible choices, I prevent myself from making a decision.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts bouncing around in my brain.
Well, my response is this:
ReplyDeleteI think that sometimes the best decision is to make a decision. Economically speaking, there is a diminishing return at some point, and when you factor in uncertainty in the future about there actually being better options, you increase the risk of no longer having the ability for maximizing potential.
That being said (if I conveyed my message well), I think that it's best to figure out what we want first, and then talk it over with the Lord, and just be ready to jump on opportunities when he gives them to us.
You have good thoughts Tim. :)
Yeah, I think you're right Jesse. I think the way to overcome this is to decide what we want, even before the situation occurs. I miss our brainstorming at odd hours of the night in the Tanner Building.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great book--he also wrote a second one, The Upside of Irrationality, that's pretty good (although it's very similar to the first one--not a whole lot of new ideas, but fun to read). Ben and I reference it a lot. I also really liked the chapter on keeping doors open--it's a common pitfall to fall into. Very interesting. And, regarding your comment, I think there is also a chapter about the problem of deciding things in the moment--how we should make decisions before. :)
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